The last few days in Namibia I have been in a bit of a funk about this trip.
I can tell I'm getting more homesick because almost everything now reminds me of people back home and of home itself. The foggy west coast of Swakopmund, Namibia? Just like San Francisco. The outdoor plaza of a shopping mall in Windhoek, Namibia? Just like Oakland City Center (if Oakland had no Asian people). But then, as I was people watching from a restaurant in the mall called "In's Wiener" (what?), a woman walked by in a dress with poofy shoulders and a matching head wrap that came to two points on each side of her head reminding me both of the Flying Nun and a cape buffalo. I suppose I'm not at home after all.
Homesickness and fashion aside, I feel like I'm losing focus on the dream. I haven't filmed anything since the Habitat team in Malawi in early September. I have nothing scheduled to film in Cape Town when a film crew will spend 2 days following me around. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all the footage when I get back. I don't know how in the world I think I can have a show when I don't have the foggiest idea of what you need to do create one. How long will my money last, how will I eat, what will I do? On and on my tale of self pity goes. Are you crying yet?
But then this morning at 3:30am, as I was sitting on another bus filling out the departure card for Namibian immigration, I decided to list something new for my occupation. On the last half dozen cards, I have been putting "filmmaker". This morning in the box marked occupation, I wrote - "superstar". Knowing that I have officially entered South Africa as a superstar has done wonders for my self esteem and motivation. It makes me smile when I think of it.
Favorite Namibian City Names
- Otjiwarongo - where we stayed for 5 hours waiting for our bus to be fixed
- Okahandja - where the wind goes sweeping down the plain
- Gross Barmen - where, what, they spit in your beer?
Am now in Cape Town and, although all I've done so far is have a shower and eat some lunch at a restaurant called Lola's that's like a Haight Street/Castro/East Village/London big, gay disco, I LOVE IT!!
I trust I will come up with something to do with the film crew. I am, after all, a superstar.
Persevere!!! Some fabulous idea will come no doubt. Quiet that Inner Critic and Remain Open.... Do I sound like I've taken a improv class?? xoxox
We want you back and we love you. Please come home.
Hey Supastar! Many of us are living vicariously through you and we all know that you will make it happen. If a South City girl can travel the world solo making friends and connecting people, surely your tale can be told to have a huge positive impact on the lives of many. We all believe in you so you need to also! Visualize it and it will come!
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